He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
