and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I had to cum in my sink.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize