I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
