i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
