I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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