Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  is your mom at the bar?

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  (586): is your mom at the bar? http://tfl.nu/5mmf
  Replies (4) Good night (2993) Bad night (1272)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????

  (702): View more from Nevada

  God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.

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  (702): It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway. (775): Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ???? (702): God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight. http://tfl.nu/me93
  Replies (14) Good night (723) Bad night (2417)
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  (650): View more from California

  Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair

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  (650): Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair http://tfl.nu/e96b
  Replies (10) Good night (1022) Bad night (2034)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Do you want the good news or bad news first?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  bad news

  (205): View more from Alabama

  The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.

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  (205): Do you want the good news or bad news first? (678): bad news (205): The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos. http://tfl.nu/6wx8
  Replies (17) Good night (4083) Bad night (1645)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.

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  (609): WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW. http://tfl.nu/kof5
  Replies (32) Good night (6754) Bad night (879)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking

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  (540): when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking http://tfl.nu/ngdb
  Replies (14) Good night (4343) Bad night (849)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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  (407): I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist. http://tfl.nu/erea
  Replies (11) Good night (3832) Bad night (858)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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  (815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt
  Replies (28) Good night (6142) Bad night (1774)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.

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  (705): I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation. http://tfl.nu/brj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1038) Bad night (1904)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.

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  (914): So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun. http://tfl.nu/n89x
  Replies (12) Good night (724) Bad night (1322)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth

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  (262): Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth http://tfl.nu/ck6h
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (354)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations

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  (413): Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations http://tfl.nu/s70c
  Replies (2) Good night (339) Bad night (571)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Can you see in?

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  (773): Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter. (1-773): Can you see in? http://tfl.nu/hc5g
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (602)
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  (323): View more from California

  Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.

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  (323): Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney. http://tfl.nu/bmnx
  Replies (3) Good night (1107) Bad night (246)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.

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  (905): You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech. http://tfl.nu/68ru
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (198)

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