She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
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He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
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Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.