No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
