Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.

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  (617): a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo. http://tfl.nu/rlno
  Replies (8) Good night (1146) Bad night (803)
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  (510): View more from California

  I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

  (1-510): View more from California

  It was probably Jesus.

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like he would have left a message.

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  (510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number. (1-510): It was probably Jesus. (510): I feel like he would have left a message. http://tfl.nu/w24x
  Replies (36) Good night (4573) Bad night (917)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.

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  (850): It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store. http://tfl.nu/3zcn
  Replies (17) Good night (858) Bad night (2255)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

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  (813): from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick http://tfl.nu/923d
  Replies (17) Good night (5477) Bad night (789)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.

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  (516): Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter. http://tfl.nu/yfry
  Replies (74) Good night (778) Bad night (6584)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  i always knew you were classy

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  (603): laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom.... (1-605): i always knew you were classy http://tfl.nu/hf24
  Replies (44) Good night (1966) Bad night (5406)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.

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  (312): Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/nsh1
  Replies (5) Good night (2746) Bad night (1257)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter

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  (636): there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter http://tfl.nu/6rqt
  Replies (3) Good night (2522) Bad night (1069)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring

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  (661): It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring http://tfl.nu/4h9t
  Replies (8) Good night (1755) Bad night (914)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?

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  (850): My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans? (1-850): It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it? http://tfl.nu/e1h9
  Replies (5) Good night (1983) Bad night (1424)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

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  (281): Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me. http://tfl.nu/lutc
  Replies (11) Good night (628) Bad night (1671)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.

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  (317): He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life. http://tfl.nu/c0aw
  Replies (6) Good night (409) Bad night (1649)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.

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  (513): Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth. http://tfl.nu/s6hy
  Replies (5) Good night (1936) Bad night (505)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.

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  (904): Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown. http://tfl.nu/099k
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (332)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching

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  (406): You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching http://tfl.nu/fd62
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (221)

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