...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..