She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
