it hurts more in the daytime
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize