id be glad to
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
