I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize