It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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