there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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