Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
