Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
