i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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