i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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