He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
