I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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