you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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