YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
