I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
