I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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