theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
