sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
