Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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