I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize