Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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