quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
