take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
my liver is dry heaving
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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