scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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