either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
