It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
