I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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