weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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