I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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