alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
