i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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