his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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