he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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