omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
where am i from again
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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