She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
