I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize