mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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