I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
