This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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