So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
