Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
