I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
