quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
