My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize