our cab driver is having phone sex.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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