why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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