I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
