Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
