You're so nebulous sometimes
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
