I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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