I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
