Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
