Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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